Hilarious 4chan Greentext Animations

Table of Contents

1. Introduction
2. The Goldfish Pond Lie
3. The Crow Friend
4. The Embarrassing Bus Incident
5. The Pizza Place Mishap
6. Pissing off Crows
7. World War Crow
8. Unexpected Grandparents
9. A Strange Encounter
10. Conclusion

The Goldfish Pond Lie

Once upon a time, in college, I found myself engaged in a conversation with a charming individual. However, as the conversation progressed, I realized that I was running out of topics to discuss. Panic ensued, and in a moment of desperation, I made a decision that would change my life forever: I decided to lie. In order to keep the conversation going, I told her that I had a magnificent goldfish pond in my backyard. Little did I know, this simple lie would set off a chain of events that I could Never have anticipated.

To my surprise, she seemed genuinely impressed by my fictional goldfish pond. She even expressed an interest in seeing it for herself. Thrilled by her enthusiasm, I exchanged numbers with her, eagerly awaiting the opportunity to showcase my non-existent aquatic masterpiece. However, much to my dismay, she never responded to my calls or Texts.

Fast forward three years, and I find myself taking care of fourteen goldfish in my backyard. One of them has even had babies, and two more are pregnant. As it turns out, the goldfish in my imaginary pond became a reality—a reality that far surpassed my initial intentions.

While I may have become an unintentional fish breeder, my social life seemed to suffer as a result. I found myself devoid of friends and living alone in an apartment. It was during this time of isolation that I had a peculiar encounter with a crow that would become my only friend.

The Crow Friend

One day, as I walked outside of my apartment, I noticed a crow with a partially white wing. Intrigued by its presence, I decided to feed it some bread, as it was all I had at the moment. Much to my surprise, the crow kept coming back for more food.

This simple act of feeding a crow soon turned into a daily ritual. The crow would bring me shiny trinkets as offerings in exchange for the bread I provided. Each day, I eagerly awaited its arrival, appreciating the companionship it offered in an otherwise lonely existence.

However, as days turned into weeks, I began to realize that the crow had not appeared for a while. Concerned about my only friend, I continuously watched for its arrival. But day after day, it failed to Show up.

Finally, one morning on my way to work, I came across a dead crow lying on the side of the street near my home. As I approached, my heart sank—it was the crow with the partially white wing. In that moment, I realized that my only friend had abandoned me, not out of choice, but due to a tragic accident.

Grief-stricken, I examined the crow's lifeless body. To my surprise, nestled near its beak was a peculiar bracelet—a final offering from my departed friend. Overwhelmed with emotions, I couldn't help but feel a profound Sense of loss. In that moment, I realized that I had nothing and no one.

Devastated by this realization, I found solace in indulging in simple pleasures. One such pleasure came in the form of a new whey protein tub I had purchased. Despite its strange appearance, with extreme excitement plastered all over the packaging, I convinced myself that it must be good.

As I began consuming the protein, I couldn't help but Notice a peculiar side effect—a series of rumblings in my stomach. Attempting to suppress the inevitable, I let out a modest fart, hoping it would go unnoticed. Surprisingly, no one on the bus seemed to react.

Emboldened by this discovery, I became more daring with each passing moment. Strategically timing my emissions with the beat drop of a dubstep song, I masked the larger farts amidst the flurry of bass-heavy tunes. Little did I know, I was inadvertently becoming a one-man symphony of flatulence, much to the discomfort of my fellow bus passengers.

Despite the overwhelming smell of eggs and spinach that permeated the air, I found relief in the fact that it went undetected—until, of course, I realized that I had been using headphones the entire time. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks, and I couldn't help but feel a mixture of embarrassment and amusement at the situation.

In an attempt to ease my growing hunger, I decided to visit a local pizza place. Famished, I devoured an entire large pepperoni pizza, only to find myself still hungry. Too embarrassed to order more food, for fear of being judged by the cashier, I improvised a desperate plan.

Pretending to receive a call from a friend, I engaged in a full-blown conversation, asking my imaginary companion if they wanted anything from the pizza place. With a sense of urgency, I proceeded to order another pizza to go for my fictional friend. Little did I know, this spontaneous act would lead to yet another moment of embarrassment.

As I sat in my car, halfway through devouring the Second pizza, a cashier approached my car window with my forgotten backpack. Caught red-handed with a mouthful of pizza, I simply smiled and nodded, unable to utter a coherent response. To my surprise, she giggled and walked away, leaving me to contemplate the absurdity of the situation.

It was during one of my walks down the street that I found myself faced with a group of hot girls walking ahead of me. Overwhelmed by the potential social interaction, I experienced an aspie overload—my social anxiety reaching its peak. With a quick decision, I crossed the street in an attempt to avoid any form of contact with them.

Unfortunately, my attempt at avoidance did not go unnoticed by the girls. They giggled amongst themselves, and in a desperate attempt to salvage the situation, I resorted to pretending that I lived in a random house nearby. To my horror, I realized too late that I had inadvertently chosen their actual house as my imaginary abode.

Panicking, I swiftly turned around, only to find three girls staring at me in confusion. Thinking on my feet, I decided to use a tried and tested conversation starter: "Have You accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior?" The unexpected question left them momentarily stunned, giving me a chance to escape the awkward encounter.

Life went on, and I found myself immersed in a peculiar situation at work. My place of employment was frequented by thousands of crows every single night. Intrigued by their presence, I began researching these intelligent creatures. Little did I know, this new interest would lead to a bizarre experiment of pissing off crows.

Across from my workplace, a group of crows would hang out in the trees. Without a moment's hesitation, I began throwing rocks at them, shaking the tree, and even chasing them whenever I had the chance. Meanwhile, a separate group of crows, the "grass crows," would simply chill by the nearby McDonald's.

To foster a relationship with the grass crows, I started buying extra-large fries whenever I visited McDonald's and fed them to these winged creatures. Over time, they grew fond of me, while the tree crows came to despise my presence.

The divide between the two crow factions became increasingly evident, with the grass crows following me across the street to ensure my safe return to work, while the tree crows became more aggressive, waiting for me outside my building. Unbeknownst to me, I was inadvertently fueling a war between two formerly friendly crow nations.

The conflict escalated to the point where both factions became engaged in a full-Scale confrontation. The skies were filled with squawking crows, creating a chaotic scene reminiscent of a war zone. It was a bloody battle, with bird carcasses falling from the sky as casualties piled up.

As I watched the mayhem unfold, I couldn't help but contemplate the unintended consequences of my actions. I had unwittingly become the catalyst for this Avian war, and the sight before me left me in awe of the power I had inadvertently wielded.

After what felt like an eternity, the chaos subsided, and only a few crows remained—the victors of this brutal conflict. Among them was Reggie, a grass crow whom I had grown particularly fond of. Reggie approached me, his left eye scarred from the battle, and a silent nod of acknowledgment passed between us.

Driven by a newfound purpose, I crossed the street and entered the familiar doors of McDonald's, leaving them wide open for the remaining crows to follow. The cashier's face was etched with a mix of confusion and astonishment as a flock of crows filed into the establishment.

To commemorate our grand victory, I boldly ordered twelve extra-large french fries and celebrated with my newfound avian comrades. In that moment, surrounded by crows in a fast-food restaurant, I couldn't help but appreciate the absurdity of the situation.

Growing up, I never had the opportunity to experience the joys of having grandparents. My grandfather had passed away before my birth, and my grandmother lived far away. However, in the most unexpected turn of events, I found myself forming a bond with the elderly couple next door.

As days turned into weeks, I spent my off-days with them, engaging in simple activities like cooking meals and sharing recipes with the wife. The husband, always eager to lend a HAND, helped me with my hobby projects and even worked on cars alongside me. It felt as though I had finally found the grandparents I had always longed for.

One fateful morning, as I bid the husband farewell before heading off to work, I slipped and called him "grandpa" without a second thought. In that unexpected moment, I realized that he had become more than just a neighbor—he had become a true grandparent figure in my life.

With a bittersweet smile, he reciprocated the sentiment, wishing me a good day at work and expressing his love for me. I replied in kind, expressing my love for him, overwhelmed by the unexpected joy that this unconventional relationship had brought into my life.

Although life had its fair share of bizarre encounters, nothing could compare to the strange incident that occurred during one of my night shifts.

In the midst of a late-night lunch break, I found myself sitting in a dark parking lot, enjoying my sandwich with the windows rolled down. Suddenly, I heard the sound of footsteps approaching. With a mix of Curiosity and caution, I glanced in the direction of the sound.

As if emerging from the depths of darkness itself, a man appeared. Oblivious to my presence, he pulled down his pants and began relieving himself right before my eyes. In a bizarre twist of fate, I found myself staring at a man struggling with constipation while I continued to eat my sandwich.

Unbeknownst to him, our eyes met in a moment of mutual surprise. An awkward silence settled between us, and in an attempt to break it, I uttered the only words that came to mind: "Nice bro." Surprisingly, he responded with gratitude, and I handed him some napkins to rectify his predicament.

With the situation diffused, I quickly drove off, leaving behind a strange encounter that would forever remain etched in my memory.

In conclusion, life is an unpredictable Journey filled with peculiar moments and unexpected friendships. From the goldfish pond lie to the crow friend, each chapter of my life has brought forth a unique set of circumstances. Despite the embarrassment and absurdity of these situations, they have ultimately Shaped me into the person I am today—a person who appreciates the beauty in the strange and finds joy in the most unconventional places.