The Hilarious Downsides of Dating a Warhammer 40k Girlfriend

Table of Contents

1. Introduction
2. Reasons to Avoid a Dark Eldar Witch Girlfriend
   • 2.1 Planning a Quiet Night
   • 2.2 Questioning Her Motives
   • 2.3 Unintentional Scratches
   • 2.4 Bizarre Date Nights
   • 2.5 Perpetual Worries for Her Safety
   • 2.6 Rapid Aging
   • 2.7 Difficulty in Breaking Up
   • 2.8 Different Kind of Foreplay
   • 2.9 Expecting Participation in Raids and Combat
   • 2.10 Unusual Gift Choices
3. Reasons to Avoid a Sister of Battle Girlfriend
   • 3.1 Devotion to the Emperor Above All
   • 3.2 Zealous Conversion Attempts
   • 3.3 Romantic Evenings Involve Purging Heresy
   • 3.4 No Tolerance for Threats to the Imperium
   • 3.5 Power Armor in Bed
   • 3.6 Fondness for Flame-Based Weaponry
   • 3.7 Lack of Attention Due to Crusading
   • 3.8 Chanting the Imperial Creed
   • 3.9 Celibacy as Part of Devotion
   • 3.10 Little Room for Romance
4. Reasons to Avoid a Daemonette of Slaanesh Girlfriend
   • 4.1 Questionable Intentions and Sadistic Pleasure
   • 4.2 Pain and Pleasure in Every Makeout Session
   • 4.3 Temptations and Indulgence in Acts of Depravity
   • 4.4 Mind Manipulation and Emotional Rollercoaster
   • 4.5 Romantic Gesture Involving a Tortured Soul
   • 4.6 Worship of Slaanesh as a Requirement
   • 4.7 Fickleness and Potential Betrayal
   • 4.8 Constant Presence of Lascivious and Sadistic Minions
   • 4.9 Jealousy and Violent Outbursts
   • 4.10 Accidental Alteration of Reality
5. Reasons to Avoid a Female Tech Priest Girlfriend
   • 5.1 Obsession with Technology over Relationship
   • 5.2 Analyzing Sleep Patterns and Diet
   • 5.3 Jealousy Over New Gadgets
   • 5.4 Love and Protection of Old Tech
   • 5.5 Upgrading Body Parts with Bionics
   • 5.6 Lack of Understanding Human Emotion
   • 5.7 Technical Jargon in Conversation
   • 5.8 Excessive Upgrades without Permission
   • 5.9 Disregard for Non-Mechanical Entertainment
   • 5.10 Constant Request for Self-Upgrade
6. Conclusion

Reasons Why Having a Girlfriend from the 40K Setting is a Bad Idea

Warhammer 40K is known for its diverse and intriguing characters, including powerful female figures. However, dating someone from the 40K setting may not be the best idea for various reasons. In this article, we will explore four different factions and discuss ten reasons why having a girlfriend from each of these factions could be a bad idea.

Reasons to Avoid a Dark Eldar Witch Girlfriend

2.1 Planning a Quiet Night

Imagine planning a peaceful and romantic evening with your Dark Eldar witch girlfriend, but instead of a candlelit dinner, she takes you on a reading party to a neighboring planet. Who needs a quiet night when pillaging and plundering can be more exhilarating?

2.2 Questioning Her Motives

You'll Never truly know if your Dark Eldar witch girlfriend is attracted to your charming personality or if she sees you as a sacrificial offering to Slaanesh, the Dark Prince. These witches are deeply devoted to their deity, and you may just be a pawn in their grand schemes.

2.3 Unintentional Scratches

Dark Eldar witches are skilled fighters with razor-sharp weapons and claws. Be prepared for unintentional scratches when your girlfriend tries to Show affection. After all, a little pain is all part of the fun, right?

2.4 Bizarre Date Nights

When your girlfriend is a witch, date nights can take a bizarre turn. Instead of watching a movie or going out to eat, she may suggest watching gladiatorial combat in the dark city's arena. And you better make sure you have front-row seats for the best view possible.

2.5 Perpetual Worries for Her Safety

The dark city of Commorragh is a dangerous place, and witches are always at risk of being captured and sold into slavery or becoming soul sustenance slaves. If you're dating a witch, you'll be perpetually worried about her safety.

2.6 Rapid Aging

Dark Eldar witches have a heightened metabolism that causes them to age rapidly. This means that your relationship might have an expiration date. Enjoy every moment you have together before she starts showing the signs of aging.

2.7 Difficulty in Breaking Up

Breaking up with a witch is never easy. You'll never know if she's going to take it well or use her witchcraft skills to torture you. Be prepared to walk on eggshells if you're thinking about ending the relationship.

2.8 Different Kind of Foreplay

Witches are all about pain and pleasure, so be ready for a different kind of foreplay. If you're dating a witch, she may want to inflict a little pain or torture upon you to set the mood.

2.9 Expecting Participation in Raids and Combat

When your girlfriend is a witch, she may expect you to join her on raiding parties or even in gladiatorial combat. If you're not up for that, be prepared for a disappointed girlfriend who may not take it lightly.

2.10 Unusual Gift Choices

When it comes to gifts, your witch girlfriend might have a different idea of what is romantic. Instead of flowers or chocolates, she might bring you a slave or a torture victim as a gesture of her affection. Remember to stay calm and thank her for the thoughtful gift, even if it's not what you expected.

These reasons highlight why having a Dark Eldar witch girlfriend might not be the best idea for a long-lasting and healthy relationship. It's important to consider the unique challenges and dynamics that come with dating someone from the 40K setting.